On community and the Superman attitude

Although I haven't blogged about it directly, you may have heard the story about Matt Robinson from Facebook. In essence, he's an American expat, been in Korea for 3 years, between teaching jobs (meaning not covered by the national health insurance), with a huge medical bill (presumably more than the 19,000,000 million won that was last reported - that's over $16,000 at the current exchange rate), and his friends / kind people have been soliticing donations via the internet. They're well on their way to meeting the financial and health goal - three cheers for everyone involved in that success

But the story doesn't end there. Quite a few of his fellow expats are raising funds for him, sending them to a Korean bank account or Paypal account for his benefit (see the aforementioned page for details). Several expat bars have had or will have donation boxes set up - shout outs to Stompers in Itaewon, Beer O'Clock in Sinchon, Rocky Mountain Tavern in Itaewon, and Gecko's. A quick shout out to my friend Belynda - if you want to see a dancing party (belly dancing and more!), she's organizing one for the weekend after next (June 13th or so, stay tuned here). Another quick shout out to the Seoul Players, who are donating all ticket sales from "Silly Cow" (a very funny British comedy) on June 11 at Phillies Basement in Haebongchun. They'll also have a donation box there if you can't make it that night.

What this story highlights - and others like it in the past - is an incessant need for community built by and for all expats across the country. It shouldn't necessarily be built on an ad hoc basis every time one of us gets in a perilous situation with our school, our health, or our money.

The Korea Herald has done a great job putting together a list of expat groups and communities to explore faiths, play sports, or be a part of a larger community. If you've been looking for a community to join - anything from the Cigar Aficionado Society to ice hockey to touch rugby to the Czech Club is here in Seoul. Other parts of Korea, special groups do exist - but you may have to start one of your own.

Many long-term expats in Korea have been forged - truly shaped - by their experiences here. Whether they've gotten screwed by a school, gotten married to a Korean, or haggled with a landlord about a huge deposit, their experiences have shaped them. Some are kind enough to offer advice to new expats via the internet or in the offline world. Others are more content to live their life quietly with their spouse and child(ren), working to pay the bills as they would anywhere else in the world. Still others seem to take a cynical, 'barrel-of-monkeys' view towards anything that might upset the status quo.

I'll call it the 'Superman attitude' - the mind set that says 'I can do it all', 'I can take care of myself', or 'I don't need to be a part of a community'. Put simply, it's counterproductive and somewhat pointless. It shows neither weakness nor lack of strength to want to be amongst a community or group of people. Just because a person has personally dealt with the crap Korea has given you doesn't mean anyone else needs to. What's to lose by sharing what you know with who might benefit from it?

It's very true that we expats have different schedules, different locations across the country, different needs, different interests, different lifestyles, different jobs, different native cultures, and even different visas. It's those very differences that make having a larger group of expats difficult, and why some will retreat to a smaller community with people more like themselves. If that were the mindset of all of us, Matt Robinson would almost certainly be dead rather than alive and kicking. He may well be alive today because of the tireless efforts of an uncountable and unnameable groups that have sought to build community.

And yes, we need a community. Take it from science if you like - studies have shown people in a community commit fewer suicides, have fewer health problems, and tend to live fuller lives. Take it from any time in your life when you hadn't had people to turn to.

While divided, split up, or simply not communicating, we lose. If we can come together during crisis towards a common goal (the healing of one of our own), who's to say we can't do it when there's not a crisis? Our common non-crisis goal is to better our lives in Korea - the same as most anyone in the world.

Ask yourself: what's your community like? How do you better your life in Korea, or help others towards that end? Even Superman couldn't get by without his favorite woman by her side.

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